Parenting is a challenging yet rewarding journey filled with ups and downs. With so much information available at our fingertips, it can be hard to sift through all that’s out there. Not all advice is created equal, and some popular suggestions may be experienced as detrimental to our children's well-being or even our own. It goes without saying that at the end of the day, to each their own… Still, here below, we’re debunking some commonly heard parenting advice that we’re personally no longer interested in considering or following. I wonder what advice you’ve dismissed as irrelevant on your own journey through motherhood…?
"Praise Your Child Constantly":
While it's essential to encourage and support our children, excessive and empty praise can have unintended consequences. Constantly showering children with praise for every small achievement or action can create a sense of entitlement or an overdependence on external validation. I wonder what more could be accomplished if we instead focused on providing specific and meaningful praise when warranted, emphasizing effort, progress, and character traits? We’ve noticed that this fosters a healthy sense of self-worth and intrinsic motivation in our little ones.
"Always Put Your Child's Needs Before Your Own":
This can be a controversial one. The journey to becoming a parent is tough on its own. So once the kids are here, it can feel selfish to not totally center them in your life. Parenting does in fact require immense selflessness, but neglecting our own well-being in the process can be detrimental to both us and our children. Just as they say when you start any flight these days: Should an emergency situation occur, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you. It's essential to find a balance between meeting our children's needs and taking care of ourselves. Self-care and maintaining our physical, mental, and emotional health allow us to show up as better parents and role models. That’s where Mother’s Shea comes in, as a healthy, clean beauty option for the whole family. And by modeling self-care, we teach our children the importance of prioritizing their own well-being as they grow older.
"Keep Your Child Busy with Activities":
In today's fast-paced world, there is often pressure to keep our children constantly engaged in activities and structured programs. While extracurricular activities can be beneficial, overscheduling can lead to burnout, hyperstimulation and undue stress on our children. It's important to allow them unstructured playtime, free exploration, and downtime to foster creativity, calm, imagination, and independent thinking. Hey! This also gives you a break from feeling compelled to entertain them 24/7! Providing a balanced mix of structured and unstructured activities allows for healthy development and a well-rounded childhood.
“Ignore Your Child's Negative Emotions":
Children, much like adults, experience a wide range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and sadness. Dismissing or ignoring their negative emotions can make them feel invalidated and hinder their emotional development. Instead, we strive to provide a safe and supportive space for them to express their feelings. Sometimes that even means modeling how parents themselves are learning to validate their emotions, establish healthy coping strategies, and constructive ways of regulating our emotions.
Parenting comes with its fair share of challenges, and navigating the sea of advice can be overwhelming. It’s totally okay to be critical in evaluating and debunking bad parenting advice as it relates to you and your family’s needs. Remember, every child is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Trust your instincts, seek guidance from reliable sources, and be open to adapting as needed. And all the while, don’t hesitate to reach for our Mother’s Shea clean beauty tins of moisturizing goodness for yourself and the whole family.